Before they knew it the afternoon had disappeared. Frank and Francine witnessed a part of their mom they did not know existed. Her vivid stories, infused with her re-awakened passion was contagious. Rita looked at them both with deep gratitude and complete presence, “before we get up I want to share something really important with you both. Please, always be true to your heart and soul. Live your lives from a place of passion, following what brings you joy. I didn’t do that. I literally put my dreams in a box and closed it. Following what others told me I should do, what society preached at me to go after. Looking back I spent a life time pretending in the professional arena, spent thousands of dollars attending college for something I did not like. If you only learn one thing from me, may it be this – be true to you. Listen to your heart and what fills it up with joy, excites it and makes you curious. I sit here today as an example of someone who did not do that, thankfully it is not too late, I can and will become the artist I always believed I could be,” fresh tears slid unchecked down her face, both Francine and Frank were transfixed by the vulnerable truthful sharing from their mom.
They sat for a moment silent. Rita wiped the wetness from her face, reaching over she hugged them both with such raw gratitude. “I love you both more than you can ever imagine, so proud of you and excited for all that you shall explore as you journey forth,” she lovingly shared.
Standing up, Rita took her emotional self to her bedroom, wishing to splash her face with cold water and sit quiet for a few moments, before making dinner. Maybe she could enjoy a few minutes with her life changing magazine.
Frank at seventeen sauntered to the kitchen for some bubble water, he was even more confused now than ever before. In his senior year of high school many decisions loomed before him. Now, his mom was telling him to follow his passions, do what he loved. Closing the door to his bedroom, he sat down on his bed, stared at his blank computer screen and struggled to feel what brought him joy. Life so far had been this journey of doing what you were told, following the rules, going to school, mimicking what others before you did, basically checking off the boxes to what was next. No one ever told him along the way to explore what you enjoy doing.
Francine, like her brother, headed to her bedroom. She too closed the door. Sitting in her low comfy chair she began to think, “what in the world just happened? Why had her mom never shared that before? How would life have been different if her mom had actually chosen to follow her dreams? Probably, she never would have met their dad, geez, that means they would not be here. Did mom wish that she had never gotten married? Had kids? No wait, she said that she loved us more than we could imagine.” Taking in a relaxed breath, the lightbulb went on, “mom is changing because she found that magazine.”
The realization churned up fear, “what if mom could tell that she had been looking at the magazine?” As she thought about the magazine, it stirred up questions, “if her mom had been this impacted by the self-typing page, what would happen to her?” Her craving to read more, to discuss more, intensified. As her thoughts fumbled around, Francine realized that she had not looked at her phone all day. She had thought this morning that she might go to the mall with friends. Then she found the magazine, after which her mom came home and the whole day disappeared. Searching for her phone she found herself feeling really confused, uncertain about her life, friends, all of it. What did she do in her life that she actually wanted to do, what where the things she loved. What friends did she really enjoy and want to spend time with, who could she trust. Her mind spiraled down too many jumbled paths.
Meanwhile, Rita had decided she wanted to give herself at least ten minutes with the miraculous publication before going out to make dinner, after all it was Saturday, so they could relax and sleep in tomorrow. Sitting down on her bed, so she could look outside and feel the light on her face, she picked it up from the night stand.
Opening it, she glanced down at the page, waiting for it to show the conversation from this morning before she left to meet with Maria. “Why was it taking so long,” she curiously thought. Closing it and opening it again, she waited. Nothing. Then,
“Are you happy,” appeared on the glossy space.
“Yes, actually I am happy. I feel strangely alive, excited and scared,” she replied.
“That is wonderful!! How does it feel in your body, heart and mind,” inquired the magazine.
“Wait,” Rita stated, “what happened to this mornings conversation,” she asked.
“Every time we are viewed by a different person the page clears, starting a fresh exchange,” responded the page.
The truth of this struck Rita, shifting her feelings to worry and a wee bit of delight at the same time. This meant that the magazine worked for others. She could share it and then people would know she was not crazy. But, then every time someone looked at it, her conversation for the day would be lost. Part of her was not sure she wanted to share. She wanted time to feel, process, make decisions, create change in her life.
Stunned, she sat digesting this new information, exploring the impacts from many angles. Then it hit her, one of the kids must have picked up the magazine, which one? “Of course,” she remembered, Francine had text her, asking her to let her know when she was on the way home. She had said it was so she could wash the dishes, but, what if it was because she had found the magazine. “It was getting late, should she go ask Francine now, or wait,” she contemplated.
To be continued… 9