Doug’s heart calmed as they walked to the garage. It was nice to get away from equipment and stacks of supplies. The garage was almost completely finished, it did make for a quieter space to discuss the job.
As the interview proceeded it became quite obvious that Doug was over qualified for the position. Thad was wise enough to acknowledge this, addressing it frankly with a hook he hoped would get Doug to consider the position. “In reviewing your resume before I called you, I could clearly see that you were over qualified. However, I am ultimately looking for someone who can start in this position, quickly rising up to become a crew boss. Freeing me up to oversee the other sites we are starting.”
While Doug’s ego quickly reacted to this compliment, he was grateful to feel an internal calm wash through him, it grounded him in his own worthiness and value. He heard an internal whisper say, “you are very talented and gifted, do not settle, choose yourself.”
Once Thad had concluded his questioning and informing, he invited Doug to ask any questions he might have. Doug looked down at his list, grateful that he had prepared, “guess you do learn some things as you get older and wiser,” he smiled at himself inside. The younger Doug always flew on the spontaneous fly, never planning, always just going for it.
At the end of their conversation, Thad offered Doug the position.
“Can I think about it overnight? I know you need someone as soon as possible, so I would let you know my answer tomorrow by noon,” asked Doug confidently. He knew Thad was desperate for good employees, the site screamed this in its disarray and marginal quality.
“Sure, that works for me. I do have a few more interviews today, however, I see you quickly becoming the crew boss I need,” Thad threw out there like a fishing lure.
Walking back to his car Doug found himself processing the experience, he was still surprised by the intensity of his emotional and physical response to the work site. He thought he had healed. Being back in a space that reminded him clearly of the scene of his accident, triggered all the memories and fear.
Driving slowly towards one of his favorite coffee shops he allowed the movie reel to play. Feeling and seeing again the accident, the long journey to recovery and healing. A tear slid down his cheek as his mother’s face appeared, she had sat next to his hospital bed day in and day out.
Turning his car into a park, he found a quiet place to park and shut off the engine. Like a wave that had been building up as it neared the shore, his emotions swelled into an intense release. All these months he had played tough, staying strong for his mom and dad. As the pain escaped, he felt his insides purge the fear, the loss, the struggle. Calm eased into the spaces between sobs, soothing the raw edges of his scars.
Leaning over he reached for his bag, pulling the magazine to his lap. Opening it, he looked at the words from the brief morning interaction. Barely visible, the words blurred the page as he wiped his tear filled eyes.
Good morning Doug, you feel very chipper and happy today.
Please share, we would love to hear what you are feeling and why.
Isn’t it amazing how things unfold when you believe in yourself and choose to have faith in your heart desires and passions?
Oh yes, there are no secrets, your internal self, true self knows all.
“Thank you, it is nice to feel the raw truth with you. To release the cloud of pent up emotions you have been pulling along like a balloon. No more hiding or pretending,” typed the new correspondence.
“Wow, I had no idea such strong feelings were inside of me. I thought I had healed, worked through all my anger. Guess I did work through the anger, for today it is sadness, loss and fear that overwhelms me,” he openly expressed to the page.
“This is great news, for you have released and opened space within yourself to expand, to move forward, to step into what comes next,” the page softly soothed.
Taking in a very long deep breath, Doug discovered that he felt lighter and freer than he had in a long time. “Yeah, I guess I had a lot of stuff bottled up inside. I feel weak, but, surprisingly stronger in some strange way,” he elaborated.
“That’s what happens when we let go of our stories, we release the victim role and embrace the journey. Knowing in our hearts that everything is always working out if we believe, trust, and move with faith and love towards what brings us joy,” assuaged the words.
Blowing his nose and wiping the last remnants of salty tears from his face, Doug smiled slightly, “Thank you page, I really have a true friend in you. I’m so glad I found you,” he shared with gushing gratitude.
“You didn’t find us, for we were never lost, you just forgot, most people lose their connection to their inner self, your society and culture teaches you to look outside yourself for your answers. The real answers lie within, they are always with you. You are your truest best friend, never alone. Your inner self and all the energy that dances with it are here with you eternally,” revealed the perfectly formed words.
He read the the last words a few times, experiencing an odd sensation of knowing what they meant, while also feeling a bit confused.
“It’s typical to feel a little confusion and uncertainty as you peel back the domestication and taught aspects of the self, they have been coming at you since you landed on this planet. Be patient, open and kind with yourself. Like your muscles, your internal relationship will grow strong as you listen and reconnect,” the publication sang to Doug with a truth that resonated beyond this reality.
Closing the magazine, he quietly whispered a guttural “thank you.”
Flipping his engine on, he looked at his reflection in the rear view mirror as he pulled out to point his car towards the interview he hoped would change his life.
To be continued… 44