Just BE YOU

The work week came crashing in with the ringing of the alarm. The sweet sleep in weekend had quickly passed.  Hitting snooze Rita rolled over in bed, reflecting on the powerful weekend and wondering how she would bring art back into her life. “It would be challenging with all she had to plan for Frank’s graduation, the end of the school year, what Francine was going to do for the summer, college applications, the list went on and on,”like a prewritten sabotage pattern the thoughts flowed.

Stopping herself, she picked up her phone, turned off the snooze and decided to get up and journal.  The night before she had made the decision to set her alarm for thirty minutes earlier, giving herself time to engage with the magazine, so that Francine could have it after school for her continued exploration. They had made this agreement just before dinner, catching the last moments together before Frank came home. 

The teapot clicked itself off. Pouring the steaming water over her tea leaves, Rita wondered to herself what the magazine would stir up today. Chuckling quietly, she drew in a deep breath, preparing her spirit to be open and willing. 

Leaning up against her pillows, she set her tea mug down to steep while she opened the cover to the magazine. Unconsciously she held her breath.

“Good morning,” typed the page.

“Hello magazine,” she smiled in relief, always fearful that the gift would stop being real.

“Don’t worry, we are always here. You do not have to use the magazine to tap into us. We are present within you at all times. It is about learning how to listen to your authentic inner self. Quieting yourself to truly hear,” presented the page.

“I am sure that what you share is true, however, I am so detached from that part of myself that it will take some serious practice to become reconnected and aware,” she stated in response.

“Actually, it is quite easy. All you have to do is shut up the chaotic human mind and listen. What feels fun and happy is the correct path,” quipped the magazine.

“So happiness is my guide,” asked Rita.

“Yes, happiness, joy, peace, love, expansion, any sensation that feels good. When you are exploring if you want to try something, feel into it. Does it feel joyful, present ease, excitement, expansion? Or does it feel hard, yucky, like work,” shared the page.

“Isn’t that being a bit selfish? Not everything in life can be fun. Some things you just have to do, it’s part of  life,” exhaled Rita at the ink before her.

“Actually, everything can be fun. You are the one that decides how you will feel. You are the one that assigns a sensation to an experience. Folding laundry can be fun if you look at it as a gift to care for those you love.  Preparing dinner can feel happy if you lean into the joy of sharing time others, nourishing them and yourself with care,” explained the magazine.

“I can understand that a little, but I definitely know I am not there yet. As I think about work today,  I am really struggling, cause I  do not want to be there at all.  I want to be creating more art, making a plan of how to change my life, staying quietly at home to build up my courage,”  she shared with honesty.

“What are the gifts your job presently offers you? As you step towards the life you wish to be living, how does your employment assist you in getting there? Make a list of the things you appreciate about your job. Keep those positive feelings flowing, while you expand the sensations of living as an artist,” offered the new words.

“What I hear you telling  me is that staying positive towards what is, helps to open the pathway for what is becoming. Is that correct,” she inquired.

“Yes, that’s exactly  what we are saying. When you stay aligned with feeling good, you will attract more positive experiences and or things that will add to the pleasure. You will be surprised and delighted by what will come into your life. Synchronicities will line up, as you choose to follow what feels joyful,” cheered the paper.

“Thank you,” stated Rita with quiet gratitude. “I will focus today on getting to know how I truly feel. Instead of going through the motions, I shall consciously focus on being present with myself and the experience.”

“It will be fun to hear about what you learn. Enjoy it, remember, it is a journey, not a destination,” the magazine seemed to sing at her.

“I will remember,” she smiled as she stated,  “Francine will be enjoying your company after school, so all we have shared this morning will be gone. I will visit with you later or tomorrow morning. I like this time together, it helps me to feel stronger and more sure of my real self.”

Closing the page, Rita picked up her journal to explore all that was churning within her. She was very grateful she had given herself the extra time, already she could tell it was really going to help her make the changes she desired. 

Down the hall she heard Frank’s door open and the bathroom door close. He always headed straight to the shower,  a habit unique to him. Glancing down at her phone she acknowledged that it was time for her to do the same. She still had to make their lunches and get professionally dressed for work. “Ugh..,” she felt  herself react. She quickly shifted her reaction recalling what the magazine had shared about focusing on the positive aspects of her job. Breathing in deeply, she got up from her bed and headed into the shower. 

Letting the warm water caress her skin, Rita found herself a wee bit excited, as though she could just feel that something was going to happen. It was like the world had become less serious and more playful. “If magazines could write themselves, what other wonders might appear if she believed,” she laughed out loud. This new feeling felt fun, light, hopeful. It struck her powerfully that everyday had the potential to be playful and unknown, she was the one who limited the possibilities. It did not have to be big things, some of the best things were subtle, like the sweetness of sharing art time with her kids yesterday.  

To be continued… 21

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