It has been too long since I last let words flow across this page. Today I glanced back at the last blog entry on this site and on my other blog “Walking Naked Truth” (WNT). I found it numerically interesting that my last post in WNT was August 1, 2019, my last post here was September 2, 2019, then on October 3, 2019 I found myself admitted to the hospital for the first time in my life and hopefully my last.
October 1st, found me not quite feeling myself, October 2nd, found me curled up in bed with what I thought was food poisoning (gratefully never had it before), October 3rd, had me calling the ambulance for an appendix. Sure enough, CT scan confirmed my self diagnosis, however it also showed a bunch of other stuff going on as well. The “big” concern for the doctors was a mass in the upper right side of my colon.
Long story short, the appendix ruptured on October 3rd, starting its toxic leak into my abdominal cavity. Graciously on October 8th, surgery relieved my rallying body of the toxicity which was creating such havoc – appendix and a foot of the colon removed, two hernias repaired and then a general cleaning of the cavity, put my body back on track to heal.
This unexpected nine day hospital stay was an interesting journey into a reflective exploration of my life. A wake up call, a gratitude expansion and “forced” time to BE.
As the days ticked by with the symptoms getting worse, I found myself deep in thought, “What if I die? What if it is my time to go?” The thought did not scare me. I’ve been blessed with an incredible life, have amazing children, friends and family. The only sadness which seeped into the quiet contemplation was the desire to watch my children explore their adult life’s. I wanted to live for them and the passionate purpose I still have here on this planet. There are places to go, people to meet, dances to dance, songs to sing and dreams to experience.
As I contemplated life and death, I asked myself. “What is the one message I wish for the world to know and feel”. The answer quickly rose up in me as I inhaled deeply. Below is an excerpt from the letter I wrote that day in the hospital –
“I look out my hospital window and see mountains and trees mashed into a busy chaotic city. I sit isolated and quiet, content, joyful and full of love. I rest here in complete peace. I do not fear death, I can’t say I ever have. At this stage of my life I would actually welcome it, for I do not play the human game very well. I shall find comfort in returning to my spiritual oneness, free of humanity’s self created suffering.
The message I wish humanity could hear and understand – This chaotic world which we react to is ALL self created. There are so many spiritual /religious teachers, philosophers and scientists who have already spoken the truth about all of this, yet we seem as a mass population unable to hear or understand. We twist and contrive, creating TO DO lists, selecting people to BLAME, judging right & wrong, planning revenge, playing victim, etc…
The core truth – WE create and perpetuate our own suffering. Our limitation, Our scarcity….
All we have to do is BE – to love thy neighbor as thyself. If we lived this one simple BEingness way, all the rest would shift, ALL would change.Written Monday, October 7th, 2019 at 11:11am
I originally started this blog with the heartfelt passion to offer a path home to the simple truth that each of us is enough, is worthy, is perfect – BEing our true self from within is the gateway to our heart’s desire.
Everyday I watch and listen to the discontent, the atrocities we inflict on others, the pain we cause ourselves, the self-perpetuating “Not Enoughness”, “Not Worthy” – it is a plague that we spread in a myriad of ways. Handing it down to our children, spreading it to family and friends….
The truth that sets each and everyone of us free begins within –
- In loving yourself, you will find it easy to love others.
- In loving yourself, you will choose to take care of your health.
- In loving yourself, you will remember and awaken your dreams and desires.
- In loving yourself, you will set boundaries that serve you and others.
- In loving yourself, you will be called to rise into the dynamic BEing YOU are!
- In loving yourself, all others in your presence are lifted and touched.
Loving yourself is about truly liking and enjoying the BEing you are, honoring, respecting and caring for YOU. It is not about being better than another, knowing more, doing more, judging, comparing, etc…
It’s a pure state of grace – BEing…
“When our cup is full, we can share and serve others…
If our cup is empty, what do we have to share…“
I come back to this blog with a rekindled passion, a dream for all to experience the pure BLISS and GRACE BEing can offer.
Stop Fixing Yourself – Start BEing Your -Self!
I ask you –
“What message do you wish to share with the world before you are no longer here?”
Thank you for joining me