Truthful Expectations…

This week it has been fun to explore Expectations, from little to big they definitely ripple through our daily interactions.

Is there only one interpretation? Only one direction? Only one truth?

Today let’s take a sneak peek at how they can impact your small interactions with others. Read the examples below to create an awareness for yourself. When you recognize and own your Expectations, you then are at Choice to share them or let them go.

Examples:

  • A friend sent you a text message, which you immediately responded to. The two of you were discussing an upcoming event, where you would meet, what time, etc…
    • You kept waiting for her/his response, so you could organize your plans. Hours went by, no response.
    • You started to get frustrated. You thought about texting again, however felt strongly that it was their responsibility to respond to you, after all, you had the courtesy to respond right away.
    • Another hour passed, still no response. Now you are angry, and feel ignored.
    • Finally you text asking for an answer. Still no answer.
    • At the end of the day you get a long text response. They apologize for taking so long to respond, informing you that their daughter had injured herself needing stitches.
    • You feel bad for your reactions and assumptions. Why did you go to such a reaction? What expectations did you have attached to this situation?
If we are truthful, how many experiences would unfold differently?
  • You get home from work, your partner is sitting at their computer typing, the kids are in other parts of the house. You cheerfully say out loud, “Hello everyone I’m home.”
    • Your partner briefly looks up, “Hi hun.” One of your kids yells out, “Hi.” No response from your other child.
    • You unload the groceries you stopped to pick up and notice that you are actually a bit upset. As you think about how you feel ignored and unappreciated your hurt expands into an anger.
    • As you prepare the dinner, you get more upset, for no one has come in to say anything, not even your partner who is still typing away. You find yourself slamming around pots and pans; being audibly noisy.
    • Finally your partner comes into the kitchen. “Are you okay hun, you seem to be upset?” “No, I’m fine” you respond. Is this the truth?
    • What if you responded with, “Yes, I am upset. I feel completely unappreciated and sad that no one actually connects when we get home to be with one another.”
    • What does a truthful response open up for you? What does the untruthful response create? What was your Expectation? Did you assume they should know what you wanted?
Unspoken Expectations can lead to unnecessary hurt, anger and misunderstandings.
  • You have been working really hard on a project for work, staying extra hours to make sure it is perfect. Your boss takes the project to the client.
    • He returns informing everyone that the client was really happy with the project proposal.
    • Your boss then proceeds to tell everyone what needs to be done next. Not once does he acknowledge or personally thank you for all your efforts.
    • You find yourself feeling completely taken advantage of. As he presents what comes next, you find yourself tuned out and disconnected.
    • As you start to work on the next part of the project you work sloppily on the details, you don’t care, why should you, it doesn’t matter, right.
    • After a few days your boss comes to you and says, “I’m surprised by the work you’ve handed in the last few days, it is not up to your usual standards. Is everything okay?”
    • What is your truth? Can you identify and share your Expectation for acknowledgment and how you felt slighted or will you choose to notice that you had an Expectation, recognizing that your reaction was you taking things personal? Is there a way to share which will create awareness for your boss and help to change the work environment?
The workplace is often the breeding ground for unspoken Expectations, leading to discontent and rampant gossip.

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