When we lie to ourselves and others, we block the flow of truthful magnificence. Why do we not tell our truth? If someone ask you “How are you?” Do you immediately say, “Good”? Or do you tell them the truth – sad, lonely, frustrated, out of sorts, in a funk, etc…? Why are we scared to share our truth?
Can you imagine a world where all we ever felt was joy? Love? Anger? Hurt? Peace? If we were only able to feel one emotion, would we desire to continue on the human journey? Isn’t our emotional diversity part of the fun in being human? Why then would we not wish to share our emotional truth?
Close your eyes and imagine how these two different scenarios would feel:
#1 – You and your partner just got home from work. He asks you, “How was your day? You respond with “Fine, how was yours?” He says, “It was okay.” Hmmm… that completes that, end of story. Onto the next topic.
#2 – You and your partner get home from work. He asks you, “How was your day? You respond with, “My day was a bit exhausting, I felt really misunderstood when I tried to explain to my boss that the project we are working on needed more information. He totally shut me down and changed the subject.” “I’m sorry hun, that must feel very frustrating”. You respond, “Yes, it does.” As you admit to feeling frustrated, your body relaxes and you open to a warm hug from your partner.
Which scenario would you like to be a part of?
Let’s try another one:
#1 Your teenage son gets home from school, you can tell that something is not quite right, so you ask, “Are you okay?” He states, “Yeah, I’m fine”, as he walks straight to his room. You know it is best to leave him alone for awhile, and then try again later. When dinner is ready you let him know. As you sit down to eat you share, “Man I had a really crazy day at work, so I am a little bit in a funk. Please know that if I am short with you at all tonight, it has nothing to do with you, just exhausted from the day.” In hearing your truth, he relaxes into feeling safe to then share his, “It’s okay mom, I had a rough day myself. A friend blamed me for something that I didn’t do. We got into a big argument about it, he didn’t believe me…”
#2 Your teenage son gets home from school, you can tell that something is not quite right, so you ask, “Are you okay?” He states, “Yeah, I’m fine”, as he starts to walk to his room. You stop him by saying, “Wait a minute, I can tell you are upset, please tell me what is going on. I’m here for you to share it with.” He wants to share, yet is not feeling safe enough yet and is unsure how to share it. You push a bit more, “It will make you feel better if you share.” “I’m okay mom, just tired“, he states as he closes the door to his bedroom.
#3 Your teenage son gets home from school, you can tell that something is not quite right, so you ask, “Are you okay?” He states, “Yeah, I’m fine”, as he walks straight to his room. You leave it completely alone and do not create any more conversation or connection.
Which scenario would you prefer to experience?
Sharing our emotional truth not only sets us free, it opens a space for others to feel safe to share their truth. If we can listen and share without blame, judgement, shame and guilt the flow of connection expands infinitely. You hold the power for connection, so do you want to shut doors or open them?